


gray is darker without you

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Kinda, Soulmates, it's that soulmate color au, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14287602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy are 17 when the colors appear.





	gray is darker without you

Evan Hansen desperately wants his soulmate. Someone that can look past the mess that he is. 

 

Connor Murphy doesn’t believe in soulmates. His parents fight every day.

  
  


Evan Hansen doesn’t know who his soulmate is.

 

Connor Murphy knows exactly who his soulmate is.

  
  


**“What the fuck are you laughing at?”**

  
  


Evan Hansen was looking at a crowd when it happened. His eyes flew wildly over everyone. 

 

Connor Murphy was looking at someone specific when it happened. His eyes settled on the person he was meant to be with forever.

  
  


Evan Hansen’s eyes didn’t even stop over his soulmate’s. The contact didn’t last.

 

Connor Murphy’s eyes met with his soulmate’s for a fraction of a second. He kept looking.

  
  


**“I’m not the freak.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen was ready to run.

 

Connor Murphy never wanted to move again.

  
  


Evan Hansen stood up shakily and walked away.

 

Connor Murphy was long gone.

  
  


**“You’re the fucking freak.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen talks to his soulmate for the last time in his school’s small computer lab.

 

Connor Murphy makes his last mistake in his school’s small computer lab.

 

Evan Hansen is staring out of a window, marvelling at the brightness of the world.

 

Connor Murphy wishes he could start over.

  
  


**“So, what happened to your arm?”**

  
  


Evan Hansen has only just realized how beautiful the world is.

 

Connor Murphy hopes he can find a reason to live long enough to see more colors. They’re really pretty.

  
  


Evan Hansen wishes he could be someone else. Someone less awkward, less anxious.

 

Connor Murphy wishes he had never been born.

  
  


**“That is just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen decides he does, in fact, like talking to Connor. No matter how stilted and awkward it is. It fits.

 

Connor Murphy decides that Evan can be his reason. He can fix this. It fits.

  
  


**“I’ll sign it.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen is surprised that Connor is even talking to him.

 

Connor Murphy is surprised he hasn’t ruined it yet- like he ruins everything.

  
  


**“That’s your name, right?”**

  
  


Evan Hansen is filled with panic.

 

Connor Murphy is surprisingly okay right now.

 

**“Because there’s Zoe.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen is about to ruin his relationship with the one person who might actually talk to a loser like him.

 

Connor Murphy isn’t okay anymore.

  
  


**“You wrote this because you knew I would find it.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen is on the edge of an anxiety attack. Of course he ruins everything.

 

Connor Murphy wonders why he thought Evan was any different.

  
  


Evan Hansen is 17 when he gets his colors.

 

Connor Murphy is 17 when he gets his colors.

  
  


**“Fuck you.”**

  
  


Evan Hansen is 17 when, home alone, every color of the world fades away. It’s darker than before.

 

Connor Murphy is 17 when, alone in an orchard, the world fades away. The colors fill his vision as he dies.

**Author's Note:**

> not even i'm entirely sure what this is so do with it what you will. this was also written in 20 minutes during english class without being edited so any and all mistakes are entirely mine.
> 
> i'm considering adding a second part but like,,, later.


End file.
